pantoum's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- LOOKING FOR A FEW GOOD WOMEN (No. 307 � 12:50 AM � Monday � 20 March 2006) Susie Sexpert is looking for �sewing whores��dykes who are sewing- and sex-positive, so, if that sounds like you and you live in the Santa Cruz area, give her a holler. It is nearly 1 AM and I am just now back from watching dyke I mean NCAA basketball and a lame drag king show and the season finale of The L Word at a nearby club. Man was it a weird night! My pal Zulu said believes that women can sense when you�re not interested in dating and consider this a challenge. And I think maybe she�s right, because women were coming out of the woodwork tonight and I have not had that kind of experience since I was a gorgeous young dyke on the prowl in DC. So, first, a femme whose picture I remember from the personals caught my eye as I walked into the show. And she made a point of being everywhere I was for the next half hour, just kind of hovering there and staring at me and tipping her drink toward me and waiting for me to acknowledge her. (Sorry sweetie. I'm sworn off women at the moment.) Then I ventured over to the other building, where Operagrrl was shooting pool with a lawyer we�ve hung out with before, sat down at the table, and waiting my turn to play. Then a cute little femmie-femme be-boppy ms. thang who is new to the area pulled up a chair beside me and started talking. Do I play pool often? Where am I from? Do I prefer the mountains or the beach? She just LOVES the beach herself and oh here�s a picture of her place in Virginia Beach. She guesses it's just a vacation home now though because she rented it when she moved here. I am southern and polite to a fault (except when I�m not) and I guess she just took the fact that I answered her questions as encouragement. It became clear that my monosyllabic responses and stares at the pool table were not going to be enough to convey my disinterest though, so I excused myself and went out to the courtyard to consider the cherubs in the fountain. Then I came back inside to watch The L Word and gawddamn if the lawyer didn�t hit on me too. At this point I was starting to wonder if maybe I�d chosen some perfect outfit for myself or something but no, I really wasn�t in anything special. I just had on my faded black jeans with the hole in the butt and knee, a basic black turtleneck, and an Indian-blanket-looking fleece jacket�nothing to write home about and kind of sloppy, really. She was pretty forward and sort of backed in against my inner thigh after I sat down and then continued to lean there. I reminded myself of the fact that she had just sucked a Jell-O shot out of a little plastic cup with a loud slurp and about how yucky that sounded and about the fact that I am not am not am not interested in getting involved with anyone new right now, even if her weight did feel good against my thigh. So I got up to (ostensibly) pee and offered her my chair, then returned and leaned against the wall. After The L Word, Operagrrl and I went out to the courtyard, where we noticed a wild young tattooed and pierced thang holding court on the steps. We couldn�t tell if we were looking at a woman or a man because she looked more like a woman but acted like a campy fag. Then �Glitter� (because that�s how she introduced herself) pointed across the courtyard at me and said, in a Marlene Dietrich voice, �You. Why don�t I know you?� (Has Operagrrl been paying these people to try to drag me out of my doldrums or what?) Then Glitter came flitting across the courtyard to our table and kissed me on my cheek and sat down and held out her limp hand for Operagrrl to shake and then said, in a campy campy voice, �So. What do we do and all that and are you friends or partners or special friends or what because you�re sitting like you�re partners." Glitter was very amusing actually and informed us that we should be inside picking up chicks, then I took two pictures of her and she flitted back up onto the steps where two women were arguing about what Andy Warhol would be doing in 2006. Operagrrl started making jokes about all this and I repeated that I am NOT INTERESTED IN DATING ANYBODY. Then she said, �you know, once you get over Pottergrrrl, I think you and I should try each other on for size.� Holy goddamn clusterfuck! I was so taken aback by this that I sputtered. Then she asked me to just think about it and then we went back to comparing notes on Durufl�s Requiem Op. 9, which we�d enjoyed earlier in the evening. � BTW I did a lot of healing at the beach, which can cure just about anything that ails me after a few days ... or at least restore my ability to see beauty and feel hope again. 4:17 p.m. - 2006-03-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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