pantoum's Diaryland Diary

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PELVIC FLOOR PERCEPTION

252.

Two women in my chorus sent out an announcement for a PELVIC FLOOR PERCEPTION workshop.

This one-day workshop provides an opportunity to refine your ability to sense and work with muscles of the pelvic floor�that group of muscles that enclose the bottom of the pelvis.

Using movement explorations from the Feldenkrais Method of Somatic Education, we will highlight not only the muscles and structures of the pelvic floor, but also increase your understanding of other, similar structures in other parts of yourself, thereby enhancing performance of your whole self. Participants will leave with both a more precise perception of the pelvic floor and handouts with suggested explorations and resources to continue their learning.

The material is relevant for expectant mothers, for those newly post-partum, for those who have given birth in the past, for those living with stress incontinence, and for anyone with an interest in understanding the pelvic floor more fully. This workshop may be relevant for those with hip pain or lower back pain, as pelvic floor dysfunction often manifests in hip jint or lower back pain.

Transforming movement. Transforming Lives: that's their byline.

Now I know that stress incontinence is serious stuff, but I read their announcement and immediately thought, Well, maybe they need to expand on this theme. If we are fortunate enough to have sufficient disposable income to hand over 80 bucks to raise our awareness of our pelvic floor, then some fool would probably pay to take a Toenail Length Perception workshop too. You could market the workshop to diabetics who are at special risk of infection, maybe even get insurance companies or employers to cover tuition. Or market it to diabetics who have already lost a foot and let it serve as a mourning ritual, like those stupid ones that Robert Bly men do to mourn their removed foreskins.

And we all know that appearance is what counts in our consumer culture, right, so why not host a Split End Perception workshop too? (Byline: Because going to your stylist just isn't enough.) Or, in my case, a Sarcasm Perception workshop might be just what the doctor ordered.

And yes, I guess I should, t some point, ask myself how I might defeat myself because of my need to be a smart-ass.

�

Meanwhile, Refusal wrote this on his blog today:

Word of the day: POGONOTROPHY: cultivation of a beard. Example of usage "Madame, might I congratulate you on your pogonotrophy. With that volume of chin-growth, one could easily provide the filling for a small pouffe."

And, apropos to nothing at all, Molly Ivins referred to Texas legislators as a bunch of "rubber-nosed woodpeckers in a petrified forest." (I love the way that woman talks!) And I realized in a meeting today that one of my peers, a man, waxes his eyebrows. This sort of gives me the creeps and I don't even want to know what this guy must think about my bird's nest mop of messy, messy hair, but I'm betting it freaks Mr. Anal out.

Think I'll refer to him as HMM (high-maintenance man) from now on; this will definitely amuse the editors.

Okay. I better quit whining now and get back to work because my dear friend Musicgrrl just called to ask if we can hang out on my deck and drink wine before chorus rehearsal tonight. This sounds like great fun and I have a couple of bottles of good stuff at home, but I bet we'll be sleepy during rehearsal!

BEST OF SPAM: (from Mollie Michaud) Haunted by your past?

SANG IN SHOWER: "Summertiiiiiime, and the living is easy"

LISTENING TO: The Oakwood Waits

READING: my employer's confidentiality policy (a real yawner)

3:55 p.m. - 2005-09-20

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