pantoum's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- CLOACAL KISSES, GUINEA PIG TESTICLES, AND OTHER HILARITY The chorus board was in a silly mood tonight. The hilarity started when I walked in and Musicgrrl said, "Well, hello there, sugar tits." And things just got progressively sillier as the night wore on. Must be something in the air today. We made it through a couple of agenda items just fine, but then the host's partner, a veterinarian, came home and a board member asked if she should be concerned because her new male guinea pig's testicles are so huge that they practically drag the ground. We tried to move on to the next agenda item, but every comment after that involved testicles. Then, somehow—I think someone was talking about a PBS special about cranes—we got on the topic of cranes mating, which was just a mistake. So here's the deal: Cranes and other birds rub their cloaca—the cavity into which their intestinal, genital, and urinary tracts open—against each other, but their parts do not interlock . . . or, in electrician's terms, there are no male and female ends creating friction. We are talking tribadism here, folks: The cranes transfer semen by rubbing against each other and this mating act is referred to as a cloacal kiss. We really should not have discussed this though, because this new theme colored every subsequent topic—an upcoming HRC/MCC gospel concert ('But tell me, how can we incorporate a cloacal kiss into our performance?") and the Valentine's dance included. We are usually so efficient, this board. We finally made it through our twelve agenda items, several of which were controversial and one of which ended with a 5/4 vote. Those are the tough ones. We are a cordial group though, and good friends by now who are comfortable expressing our concerns and opinions vehemently, then letting the next woman speak. We often differ wildly on any given topic but—and I love this about our group—even when we do, we almost always manage to reach the right decision as a group while respecting each other and listening carefully to what each person has to say. I thought I knew exactly where I stood on a particular issue tonight, for example, then Operagrrl said she was uncomfortable with the fact that one singer felt that a vote in favor of a motion would make rehearsals feel emotionally unsafe and this made me reconsider everything. You have to work with the same people for a long while before you can take such opposing stands on an issue and still get the work done right. Meanwhile, I spent today counseling several friends about their love lives—which is funny, really, since I don't even have one these days. One friend is partnered with a woman who has had several affairs. She told me how they have finally learned to trust each other and talk and she feels really close to her partner now and knows in her heart that the affairs are a thing of the past. I had no idea how to respond, since her partner has confided in me that she is having two affairs at the moment, but I am friends with them both and don't believe it is my place to share this fact with her. But ugh. It is a bad, bad situation that makes me really uncomfortable and I wound up saying uh-huh, uh-huh like a shrink, letting her reach her own conclusions, as I just listened.
Awkward. 9:07 a.m. - 2005-03-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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