pantoum's Diaryland Diary

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CONTINUITY AND THE DECIDER

334.

Let's review the rules. Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Just put �em through a spell check and go home. Get to know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know. Fiction!�Stephen Colbert (keynote speech at White House Correspondents� Dinner, 28 April 2006)

(Cinco de Mayo) I�m on hold ugh trying to make an appointment to get an estimate for my bashed-in car door and feel as if I�m standing at St. Burchardi Church in Halberstadt waiting for the next chord in John Cage�s �As Slow a Possible� organ recital. If I WERE standing in that German town right now, however, I would know that the next chord in the first movement of this recital will play for a full month, until the fifth of June rolls around. Then silence or a new chord will follow and, perhaps, offer some variation in musicology, should new organ pipes be added or some pipes deleted.

I guess I should mark my calendar in advance for 5 September 2070, when the second movement of Cage�s slow recital begins. Sadly, the only way I will hear the final movement is to be reincarnated, since this recital will last for a whopping 639 years (or until the church gets sick of dealing with a long-deceased composer�s slow recital).

Hearing ANY new chord would be a vast improvement over this wretched musak version of �Afternoon Delight� that the VW dealership is currently piping through my speakerphone in between their sporadic your call is very important to us and will be answered in the order in which it was received. Please remain on the line message, but I am trying to drown it out with iTunes.

Meanwhile, I am having a true lunch break for a change because I feel so lousy that I skipped my daily workout. Stayed up till 2:30 finishing that children's storybook illustration project after sleeping very little in New York, so I guess I'm just exhausted.

Have been reading about teledildonics as I snarf down my salad.

What? You don�t know what teledildonics? Well pull up a chair, chere.

Author Liz Langley (Alternet�s �Cybersex Grows Up�) describes it as

the ability of two people, in separate locations, to manipulate sex toys via internet. You could finger your mouse in New York, and make someone in California sing the ten-second aria.

Yup. And, apparently, a few computer-savvy American soldiers who are stationed in Iraq are already using the Sinulator to keep their lovers purring from afar.

The possibilities of this Sinulator are just mind-boggling. ...

LISTENING TO: John Cage and Lou Reed's Songs for Drella, of course.

5:06 p.m. - 2006-5-5

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