pantoum's Diaryland Diary

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SNOW CONES AND MOST LOYAL FRIENDS

218.

Well, my morning entry was clearly jaded, so I suppose I�ll continue that theme.

This afternoon�s topic is code writing, as in �special friend� or �buddy� or �best buddy� or �most loyal friend� or any number of other phrases that do not, ever, include the words �dyke� or �lesbian� or �lezzy� or �homosexual� or �sexual being.� This obituary, for example, suggests that much of the deceased�s life and love and passion is missing from this description.

But, ask yourself, didn't this Mary Lee and her most loyal friend Agnes share nights of unbridled passion?

MARY LEE DUNLOP 85, died Saturday July 30, 2005, at her home.

She was born March 19, 1920, in Spartanburg, SC a daughter of the late Kenneth and Irene Speed Dunlop. Her sister, Edith Clair Dennis Hogkins predeceased her.

Once Mary had her high school diploma proudly in hand, she moved from secretary to relief worker to office manager in the Spartanburg, Jacksonville, Savannah, and New Orleans offices of Southern Standard Life Insurance over her twenty-six year career. She then worked for three years as Admitting Officer at Spartanburg County Hospital before becoming Administrator of the Spartanburg Children's Hospital for eleven years. She retired to Myrtle Beach, SC in 1962.

Mary will be remembered for her love of the Ocean, her true listening heart, and her wonder and delight in each person she met.

Survivors include: her nephew, Fred Hodkins and his wife, Nan and her niece, Mary Hodkins Harlow and her husband, Richard; great-niece, Sky Harlow; a great-nephew, Sagan Harlow and her most loyal friend, Agnes Glosson.

A memorial service will be held 3 p.m. Thursday, August 4, 2005, at Harris Funeral Home with Chaplain James Willing officiating.

In Lieu of flowers, donations in memory of Mary may be made to Spartanburg Children's Hospital.

Arrangements are entrusted to Harris Funeral Home.

Sometimes I feel so jaded about our existence, just don�t understand the complacency that seems so commonplace in our world.

At ACT-UP protests in DC, we used to shout �The whole world is watching!� but, you know, the whole world was watching that flimsy argument about the presence of weapons of mass destruction too and it didn�t matter a hill of beans that all those people in those other countries (and some of us in ours) were outraged.

The world seems alternately Machiavellian or just plan mean or filled with people on autopilot sometimes�and yes, I do recognize that even having the option to move through the world on autopilot indicates that you have more options than most and are wealthier than most and so are probably an American.

I listen to Bush The Latter�s jingoism and think, well, this is an interesting twist on Betty Friedan.

Are we living in a world in which we�re ALL tranquilized now and just nodding our startled heads in agreement? And what does that say about us as a culture, that we prefer to be numb (dumb)? (Yes, Pink Floyd is humming in my brain right now.)

Are we just overwhelmed and unable to worry about one more unsolvable thing, walking around with brains too filled with commitments and worries and obligations to comprehend the enormity of, say, our country�s dwindling economic status or those complicated economic theories or even to say hello to the person in line beside us at the grocery store?

Who wants to ruin a perfectly good summer afternoon fretting about what will happen to Social Security anyway?

I don�t. But I do.

Yes, sometimes I don�t like my fellow human beings very much, and in particular my fellow Americans, and I convince myself that we are mostly a bunch of lobotomized drones who don�t even care enough about our role in the world to be politically involved, to be outraged. And I know that is true sometime, for select people, but certainly not entirely true.

Then someone does something decent and at possible risk to themselves and I think again that maybe there is hope for us all (which I do mostly believe, despite my whining here). In fact, I find it amazing sometimes that, despite everything, we love. Again and again.

So here�s what made me like human beings better today. In a story about the plane accident in Toronto, I read

some survivors wandered onto a nearby highway, where drivers took them to hospitals.

�

Huh. Just received this rhyming e-mail in my work box:

Snowcones at noon. Bring your own spoon!

Lamont, the guy who delivers our mail�a man whose only child, an eighteen-year-old marine, died fighting in Iraq recently�apparently brought in a snow-cone machine because it�s so friggin� hot and muggy and decided that we could all use a treat. How nice.

�

So she just sent an e-mail that said, "in honor of Bird, let me just say FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!@!!!!!"�which, for those of you who don't know, is how I prefaced a plea to notice whether or not you actually need to reply to all before hitting your goddamn send key�"stop replying to all when you don't need to." Hee.

One person after another has been coming into my office red hot because she or he doesn't believe program coordinators should get an upgrade if she or he doesn't get one. And I've been putting out these fires all day and reassessing my plan for upgrades for everyone (which I already have in the works and would love to put on the fast-track but administration just won't cooperate).

Bird:
The scuttlebutt is getting around about the Program Coordinators' job upgrade.

Needless to say, as a single parent living from one paycheck to another, who spends one entire paycheck each month paying rent, and who is trying to send a child to college, I will be depressed until my job description gets equal consideration. After all, I have invested my entire career and a fair portion of my life to this institution. I know it doesn't really count for anything. But it should.

�

2:25 p.m. - 2005-08-03

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