pantoum's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- TRISKAIDEKAPHOBIA , or, I GET MY KICKS ABOVE THE WAISTLINE, SUNSHINE Friday the Thirteenth. Huh. Maybe that explains why my laptop went bonkers and started typing Arabic numerals when I tried to type words earlier today. Yeah, I'm sure that some random date on my calendar is to blame. Just as I'm certain that some gray-haired control freak is sitting up in heaven just waiting to strike me down for masturbating. • Now this is going to seem picaresque, but give me a few sentences. Joy Harjo replaces the hierarchical system typically presented in Christianity with a vortex, a "spiral-shaped pattern of survival," and says I think where theologians get into trouble is that they're working out of a hierarchical structure. There's God sitting at the top of the world, in the image of a man, no women around in that trilogy of God the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. I propose a different structure; it's not original but what Ive learned from being around tribal peoples, and in my own wanderings. The shape is a spiral in which all beings resonate. The bear is one version of human and vice versa. The human is not above the bear, nor is Adam naming the bear. No Great Chain of Being for this poet, and no masturbation-punishing graybeard either. I like this notion of a spiral, which suggests back and forth, interrelationship, nonduality. • Two people have recently told me they're abstaining from sex—one was Buzzcut, but we're not talking about that tired old thing anymore. Nope. Instead, I'm posting three excerpts from a popular ABSTINENCE ONLY program (as compiled in the February 2005 edition of Harper's): Occasional assistance may be all right, but too much assistance will lessen a man's confidence or even turn him away from his princess You don't say? Me, sometimes I like those unexpected quickies that make you late for something.
Sexual relationships often lower the self respect of both partners. . . . Emotional pain can cause a downward spiral, leading to intense feelings of worthlessness. Depression [from a break up] may lead to attempted or successful suicide. O that's ripe. Think I'll use that as my reason to never have sex again: Sorry. I can;t have sex with you. It;ll make me kill myself.... which would at least result in me never whining about the frustrations of so-called casual sex again (something my readers might appreciate). But really I am so busted here, since people who read my blog know that I did damn near mail the sex toys to the Ginger and kill myself not that long ago. But we were talking about sex, or the lack thereof, weren't we? Not about the ever-present Ginger and the sex she is no doubt having with slimy Dickboy (and did I mention that he teaches Women's Studies?) Oh he is just slickety slick slick, isn't he? Just ugh. I'll have to ponder this list a bit to do it justice but, just off the top of my head, here is my own list of reasons to abstain from sex: • sex gave me severe rug burn(What can I say? it was in the backseat)
Can't say that sex has ever lowered my self respect though. And gawd do I miss it. • Okay, it's almost nine on a Friday night and I am still at work, so I'll pick up some Thai food on the way home after ending with this typo: only violations that shock the conscious are actionable in federal forum.I believe he meant public conscience, but am thinking maybe the original could be the Senate Ethics Committee's new motto. SANG IN SHOWER: Wilder Than Her by Dar Williams LISTENING TO: Dar Williams sing Wilder Than Her (She's a house on fire; i'm a hurricane. one blows through the town. One blows the town away. and I'm wilder than her.) READING: Switch by Carol Guess BEST-OF SPAM (Subject Lines): r u little? (I'm whatever size you want me to be, Sunshine.) 8:53 p.m. - 2005-05-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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